People talk about many things when they talk about movies, the special effects, the
action, the drama and even gossip about the actors.  They also debate the point the
director was trying to make.  Or in the case of a movie based on a true story, how far the
filmmakers dared to exaggerate what actual events did and didn’t happen.

There’s one element that seems to get discussed more than any other, whether it’s
among friends at a restaurant or bar or a group of co-workers gathering around a water-
cooler.  Whatever the social setting may be, tones of amusement, admiration and
nostalgic wonder are often expressed while people attempt to imitate what they heard,
how they heard it and who said it.

I’m talking, of course, about…”The Dialogue,” those rich, smooth, hilarious, shocking,
profound and memorable quotes that follow actors around for generations and even
become embedded in our heritage.       

I’m the Ranting Usher.  Let me talk you to your seat.

Most of us have heard the classic line from Robert De Niro that I inserted above along
with other timeless gems like, “May the Force be With You,” but what about those we
rarely ever hear outside the movies themselves?  What about those great lines actors are
paid to deliver that we can seldom muster the nerve to utter ourselves in daily
conversation?  What about all those words that are begging to burst from our lips that we
always swallow at the last minute?

I hope you’re prepared to be bombarded with guilty pleasures and taboos as I countdown
the top fifteen lines I would love to say to someone in real life.

Here they are in your face and in bold print.

#15 – “Are they made from real Girl-Scouts?”

Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams in "The Addams Family" – 1991

#14 – “Give me what I want and I’ll go away.”

Colm Feore as Andre Linoge in Stephen King’s "Storm of the Century" – 1999

#13 – “What’s your clinical diag-nonsense?”

Angelina Jolie as Lisa Rowe in "Girl Interrupted" – 1999

#12 – “We both have the same problem, you.”

Sigourney Weaver as Dana Barrett in "Ghostbusters" – 1984

#11 – “Yes, it’s true.  This man has no dick.”

Bill Murray as Peter Venkman in "Ghostbusters" – 1984

#10 – “What did you do, take an illiteracy test to get that job?”   

Ellen Bernstein as Chris MacNeil in "The Exorcist" –1973

#9 – “Are you a politician or does lying run in your family?”

Mary Stuart Masterson as Idgie Threadgoode in "Fried Green Tomatoes" – 1991

#8 – “You’re about as mysterious to me as a blocked toilet to a fucking plumber.”

Al Pacino as Detective Will Dormer in "Insomnia" – 2002

#7 – “Why don’t you try sticking your head up your ass?  See if it fits.”

Al Pacino as Tony Montana in "Scarface" – 1983

#6 –“Master Chief, suck my dick.”

Demi Moore as Lt. Jordan O’Neill in "G.I. Jane" – 1997

#5 – “Did your mother ever have any kids that lived?”

Corey Feldman as Teddy Duchamp in "Stand By Me" – 1986

#4 – “Your looks are kind of pretty, when your face doesn’t screw it up.”

Corey Feldman as Mouth in "The Goonies" – 1985

#3 – “Maybe if you drank bourbon with me, it would help.  If you poured bourbon all over
your naked body and said ‘drink here,’ then I could fall in love with you.”   

Nicolas Cage as Ben Sanderson in "Leaving Las Vegas" – 1995

#2 – “Hey, I noticed you had some trouble sitting down.  Did you get a backdoor delivery
you weren’t expecting?”

Lou Rawls as a Concerned Cabbie in "Leaving Las Vegas" - 1995

And the #1 line that I would love to say to someone in real life is...
“Are you talking to me? Who the hell else are
you talking to, are you talking to me?  I’m the
only one here. You must be talking to me.  Who
the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

Robert De Niro as Travis Bickle in "Taxi Driver"
-1976
Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrance in Stephen King’s "The Shining" – 1980

I'm the Ranting Usher.  Let me quote you out of the office.


Do you agree with my list?  What quotes are your favorite guilty pleasures?  Let me
know in the comments section.
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